Swell Salve

Simmer Down with Horse Chestnut & Calendula
$16.00
Simmer Down with Horse Chestnut & Calendula

Swell Salve

0 Reviews

Description

The bummers down under. The southern swell. The pain in the ass. Phew...Our Swell Salve is Herbalist formulated with tried and true botanicals used for generations to support the most sensitive of tissues.
2 fl oz Ritual With a clean finger, apply a pea-sized amount of Swell Salve to that swell up to three times a day. Best applied at night when your bod is in repair mode. Shelf Life Lasts 6 months. Store in a cool and dry place. Our products are organic and freshly made-to-order skin food. We do not use toxins that make things last forever.

Ingredients

Calendula (Calendula officinalis)*, Horse Chestnut (Aesculus hippocastanum)* and Yarrow (Achilliea millefolium)* infused Sunflower Oil (Helianthus annuus)*, Beeswax (Cera alba), Horse Chestnut (Aesculus hippocastanum) infused High Proof Spirits*

*Organic
^Ethically & Safely Wildcrafted

Shop The Look

K
Karin B.
Verified Buyer
5.0 star rating
07/18/24
Really works!
Review by Karin B. on 18 Jul 2024 review stating Really works!
This swell salve really works. It has a very light scent and is very soothing.
R
Ryder I.
Verified Buyer
5.0 star rating
04/23/24
Effective!
Review by Ryder I. on 23 Apr 2024 review stating Effective!
What can I say, it absolutely works!
S
Sabrina N.
Verified Buyer
5.0 star rating
04/03/23
It actually works
Review by Sabrina N. on 3 Apr 2023 review stating It actually works
Swell Salve is VERY helpful to have on hand if you suffer with any *ahem* peach issues. It works quickly and actually brings relief
R
Rebecca B.
Verified Buyer
5.0 star rating
03/15/23
Swell stuff
Review by Rebecca B. on 15 Mar 2023 review stating Swell stuff
The texture of this salve is so nice and smooth. It's much easier to get out of the tin and apply to your precious parts than the kooch quench. Everything kinda swells during that time of the month and this stuff is great for it!
R
Ryder I.
Verified Buyer
5.0 star rating
12/16/22
Works! Does what it’s supposed to!
Review by Ryder I. on 16 Dec 2022 review stating Works! Does what it’s supposed to!
This is my second time ordering, and it works so well! Soothes the area and has made the issue pretty much a thing of the past. Fat & the Moon has done it again!
M
Makiah R.
Verified Buyer
4.0 star rating
09/22/21
Great salve!
Review by Makiah R. on 22 Sep 2021 review stating Great salve!
This is a great salve with a very light scent! Definitely provides relief! A great amount for the price!
R
ritualshelter
02/24/21
Delightfully witchy organic body care. Feel good about their ethically and sustainably sourced all natural ingredients and love the effectiveness of their medicinal concoctions. fatandthemoon
READ MORE...
READ LESS
T
traveler_surf_club
02/02/21
Get glowing ✨ ⁠⁠ What we love about fatandthemoon 🌻 Ingredients to nourish your skin on dry winter days or post surf sessions ⁠⁠ 🌻 Minimal, reusable and conscious packaging⁠⁠ that’s easy to toss in your bag or keep in your surf kit 🌻 Smooth, hydrated, healthy skin ⁠⁠ #glowup #skincareroutine #dryskin #mermaidmask #mermaid #hydrateyourskin #lotion ⁠⁠#fatandmoon #skincare #ecopackaging #spaday #musclesalve
READ MORE...
READ LESS
A
Alisa S.
Verified Buyer
5.0 star rating
01/11/21
Be a friend to your poor booty!
Review by Alisa S. on 11 Jan 2021 review stating Be a friend to your poor booty!
In case the tactful product description hasn't made it clear to you, this product is intended for hemorrhoids, those particularly mean varicose veins of the bootyhole (though it may have use for other vascular issues). I have to take meds that have the unfortunate side effect of making me constipated & dehydrated which is a perfect recipe for these ouchies :( Eating lots of fiber, drinking lots of water, and occasionally taking stool softeners can help keep them from getting worse so your bod can focus on healing them, but this can be an uphill battle if you're prone to them like me. Regular sitz baths & witch hazel soothe the discomfort but, again, don't shrink the existing ones. A steroid cream (eg hydrocortisone) CAN help shrink them BUT can't be used for long periods of time or it thins the skin, which can make them worse in the long run. But this balm! This balm has been a winner! The emollient texture brings a gentle soothing effect upon application. I love that I don't have to worry about side effects from using it for long periods. With consistent use over several weeks I've finally got a comfy booty!!! And the tin is going to last me a long time so it's very cost effective. Highly recommend if your booty needs a friend.
M
moonfat
02/25/20
Put a spell on that swell...new packaging, but the same effective formulation [formerly Rhoid Relief]. Let yarrow, calendula and horse chestnut and take on that bummer down under. These herbs have been used for millennia to help soothe flamed up states. Turn swell ☹️ into swell 😁!
READ MORE...
READ LESS

Reviews

Reviews
Q&A

Customer Reviews

We’re looking for stars!
Let us know what you think
Description
The bummers down under. The southern swell. The pain in the ass. Phew...Our Swell Salve is Herbalist formulated with tried and true botanicals used for generations to support the most sensitive of tissues.
Ritual
With a clean finger, apply a pea-sized amount of Swell Salve to that swell up to three times a day. Best applied at night when your bod is in repair mode.
Plant Profiles
Horsechestnut and Yarrow have long, traditional use of tightening inflamed tissues. Calendula provides relief and repair to the most sensitive of areas.
Tissue tightening Horse Chestnut
Astringent Yarrow
Repairing Calendula
Details
The paaa-ressure of heavy lifting, trying to solve all the world’s problems, and opening that damn jar of pickles can all lead to feelin’ swoll. Horse Chestnut, Yarrow, and Calendula soothe, just like a friend reminding you to not let that asshole rule your life.
Specs: 2 fl oz
Shelf Life:
Lasts 6 months. Store in a cool and dry place. Our products are organic and freshly made-to-order skin food. We do not use toxins that make things last forever.
Our Recipe
Calendula (Calendula officinalis)*, Horse Chestnut (Aesculus hippocastanum)* and Yarrow (Achilliea millefolium)* infused Sunflower Oil (Helianthus annuus)*, Beeswax (Cera alba), Horse Chestnut (Aesculus hippocastanum) infused High Proof Spirits*

*Organic
^Ethically & Safely Wildcrafted
Packaging is an Ingredient
Aluminum Tin
Once empty: Disassemble, clean and rinse. Place the components into the recycling bin or take to your local recycling facility.

Label
Printed on 100% Post-consumer Waste material with compostable ink. They can be left on containers when placed into recycling.
FAQ
Is this for the butthole?
Yes, this is for the butthole!
Reviews
Q&A

Customer Reviews

We’re looking for stars!
Let us know what you think
K
Karin B.
Verified Buyer
5.0 star rating
07/18/24
Really works!
Review by Karin B. on 18 Jul 2024 review stating Really works!
This swell salve really works. It has a very light scent and is very soothing.
R
Ryder I.
Verified Buyer
5.0 star rating
04/23/24
Effective!
Review by Ryder I. on 23 Apr 2024 review stating Effective!
What can I say, it absolutely works!
S
Sabrina N.
Verified Buyer
5.0 star rating
04/03/23
It actually works
Review by Sabrina N. on 3 Apr 2023 review stating It actually works
Swell Salve is VERY helpful to have on hand if you suffer with any *ahem* peach issues. It works quickly and actually brings relief
R
Rebecca B.
Verified Buyer
5.0 star rating
03/15/23
Swell stuff
Review by Rebecca B. on 15 Mar 2023 review stating Swell stuff
The texture of this salve is so nice and smooth. It's much easier to get out of the tin and apply to your precious parts than the kooch quench. Everything kinda swells during that time of the month and this stuff is great for it!
R
Ryder I.
Verified Buyer
5.0 star rating
12/16/22
Works! Does what it’s supposed to!
Review by Ryder I. on 16 Dec 2022 review stating Works! Does what it’s supposed to!
This is my second time ordering, and it works so well! Soothes the area and has made the issue pretty much a thing of the past. Fat & the Moon has done it again!
M
Makiah R.
Verified Buyer
4.0 star rating
09/22/21
Great salve!
Review by Makiah R. on 22 Sep 2021 review stating Great salve!
This is a great salve with a very light scent! Definitely provides relief! A great amount for the price!
R
ritualshelter
02/24/21
Delightfully witchy organic body care. Feel good about their ethically and sustainably sourced all natural ingredients and love the effectiveness of their medicinal concoctions. fatandthemoon
READ MORE...
READ LESS
T
traveler_surf_club
02/02/21
Get glowing ✨ ⁠⁠ What we love about fatandthemoon 🌻 Ingredients to nourish your skin on dry winter days or post surf sessions ⁠⁠ 🌻 Minimal, reusable and conscious packaging⁠⁠ that’s easy to toss in your bag or keep in your surf kit 🌻 Smooth, hydrated, healthy skin ⁠⁠ #glowup #skincareroutine #dryskin #mermaidmask #mermaid #hydrateyourskin #lotion ⁠⁠#fatandmoon #skincare #ecopackaging #spaday #musclesalve
READ MORE...
READ LESS
A
Alisa S.
Verified Buyer
5.0 star rating
01/11/21
Be a friend to your poor booty!
Review by Alisa S. on 11 Jan 2021 review stating Be a friend to your poor booty!
In case the tactful product description hasn't made it clear to you, this product is intended for hemorrhoids, those particularly mean varicose veins of the bootyhole (though it may have use for other vascular issues). I have to take meds that have the unfortunate side effect of making me constipated & dehydrated which is a perfect recipe for these ouchies :( Eating lots of fiber, drinking lots of water, and occasionally taking stool softeners can help keep them from getting worse so your bod can focus on healing them, but this can be an uphill battle if you're prone to them like me. Regular sitz baths & witch hazel soothe the discomfort but, again, don't shrink the existing ones. A steroid cream (eg hydrocortisone) CAN help shrink them BUT can't be used for long periods of time or it thins the skin, which can make them worse in the long run. But this balm! This balm has been a winner! The emollient texture brings a gentle soothing effect upon application. I love that I don't have to worry about side effects from using it for long periods. With consistent use over several weeks I've finally got a comfy booty!!! And the tin is going to last me a long time so it's very cost effective. Highly recommend if your booty needs a friend.
M
moonfat
02/25/20
Put a spell on that swell...new packaging, but the same effective formulation [formerly Rhoid Relief]. Let yarrow, calendula and horse chestnut and take on that bummer down under. These herbs have been used for millennia to help soothe flamed up states. Turn swell ☹️ into swell 😁!
READ MORE...
READ LESS
The Coven
We call ourselves the ‘Coven’ as a shorthand of the space where our team gathers to intentionally conceive of, organize, create and ship out herbal bod care. We do everything under one roof, and ‘magical self manufacturing operation of botanical body care potions’ is a mouthful.
Who We Are
Herbalists, writers, proud fur baby parents, artists, musicians, gardeners, students. We self manufacture in our small town in the Sierra Foothills to invest in our incredible community of multidimensional beings.